


King

by AngelOfDiligence



Series: Haikyuu as Songfics [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depressed Goshiki, Depression, Don’t Let the Tags Scare You it’s Not That Bad, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, It gets better I promise, Sad Goshiki Tsutomu, Sadness, Song fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:15:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28236798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelOfDiligence/pseuds/AngelOfDiligence
Summary: //You've got it all, you've lost your mind in the sound.///There so much more, you can reclaim your crown.Song - King by Lauren Aquilina
Series: Haikyuu as Songfics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1956187
Kudos: 9





	King

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo I originally posted this on Wattpad as a song fic about myself, but I wanted to post it here as a Hiakyuu fic. I’m not really sure how it turned out, so please PLEASE give constructive criticism! It doesn’t really say anything about the actual person, so that sucks, but I hope it works(?)
> 
> Well anyway, I hope you enjoy!

_  
You're alone, you're on your own._

I walk along the hallways of my school, trying to get to my next class without any problems. I have pretty much no friends and no one ever talks to me - other than the club, but even there no one really likes me. It's kinda nice though, being alone. Never having to interact with other people and embarrass myself even more than I already do.

_So what? Have you gone blind? Have you forgotten what you have and what is yours?_

I have so much. A loving family and team, a nice home, food, clothes, and a warm bed to sleep in at night. Yet, I feel like the only thing that's really mine is my heart, what's left of it anyway.

_Glass half empty, glass half full. Well, either way you won't be going thirsty. Count your blessings, not your flaws._

I swish the water around in my glass as we’re eating dinner. I'm constantly thinking about everything wrong with me, how I'm fat, ugly, too tall, my hair, my clothes. I have no redeeming qualities.... do I? I'm loyal. That's about it. And it's one of my greatest weakness too.

_You've got it all, you've lost your mind in the sound. There so much more, you can reclaim your crown._

Part of myself is telling me "You're not ok, but you can be." Can I?

_You're in control. Rid of the monsters inside your head._

It's like I'm not in control of my body. My mind tell me one thing, but my body does something completely different. I'm always loud and obnoxious, and I hate it. 

_Put all your thoughts to bed._

After every day when I'm in bed, I Keep myself up thinking of how badly I messed up at everything. 'I spoke too much', 'I was too loud', 'I'm so lazy', 'I didnt get enough done', 'I was annoying', I can never get one damn break? My thoughts are too loud. I can’t sleep.

_You can be king again._

.................

_You don't get what all this is about. You're too wrapped up in your self doubt. You've got that young blood, set it free._

I'm too caught up in my own mind to realize the world around me. I need to enjoy my time here while I can, otherwise I'm already as good as dead. There is so much I can do, I just need to start trying.

_You've got it all, you've lost your mind in the sound. There's so much more, you can reclaim your crown._

"You're not ok, but you can be." ..... can't I? Why shouldn't I be ok? Please, I want to be ok.

_You're in control. Rid of the monsters inside your head._

Why can't my mind and body agree? They're both part of me, right? I should be able To control them, shouldn't I? So why can’t I?

_Put all your thoughts to bed._

Why do I think this way? Is it because it's true? Probably, I mean, why would my mind lie to itself? It wouldn't, right?

_You can be king again._

.................. _  
_

_There is method in my madness._

One. Two. Three. I keep going until I have rows of red marks running down my arms and thighs. There’s blood everywhere, but I don't care. I know this is hurting me, but I can't seem to stop. It helps, in a sort of twisted way. The physical pain helps distract me from the world around me and the pain that comes with it.

_There's no logic in your sadness._

I have such a loving family and team. I shouldn't be this sad, I have so much more than some other people have. I should be grateful, and I am, but then, why do I feel this way?

_You don't gain a single thing from_ _misery. Take it from me._

It’s after practice when I see him. I see a boy sitting by himself at on the floor in the empty gym. I know him, he’s my teammate - our setter. Why does he look so sad? His eyes are void of pretty much any emotion. _He’s like me._ I walk up to him and put my arms around him, and when he doesn't respond I say with a sad, knowing smile, "Don't torture yourself like this. It will only get worse if you don't do something about it now. Trust me, I would know.” I start to sing a song I had heard many times, but I am just now starting to realize what it truly means to me. All I can hope is that it will reach him as well.

_You've got it all, you've lost your mind in the sound. There so much more, you can reclaim your crown._

"You're not ok, but you can be." I can, can't I. I have to try, harder than I ever have before, but I can do it, right?

_You're in control. Rid of the monsters inside your head._

Time. It will take time, and a whole lot of effort. But I'll be able to get along with my mind and body someday, right?

_Put all your thoughts to bed._

Why do I think this way? Is it because it's true? I don't know, and I may never know, but from what I know and can see around me, it could be a lie. You don't need to have a reason for depression. It can attack anyone, no matter their situation or what they believe.

_You can be king_

.............

_You've got it all, you've lost your mind in the sound. There's so much more, you can reclaim your crown._

I'm not ok, but I can be.

_Your in control. Rid of the monsters inside your head._

My mind is a mess, but with time and care, it can be cleaned up. Even if it's never back to the way it was, that's ok.

_Put all your thoughts to bed._

I think this way. That's all there is to it. It doesn't have to be because of something, I don't have a reason for thinking this way. Who knows if it's true or not, I may never know, but that question can be saved for another time, when I'm more prepared to find the answer.

_You can be king again._

.......... I can be king again.

**Author's Note:**

> Hhhhhhh so how was it? Good? Bad? Please say, I need to get better at writing. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this little thing, whatever this was! And I have a little song for the holidays for you guys! I got it from one of @RussianSunflower3’s fics, I hope you like it! (Not mine, it’s theirs so don’t think I stole it or made it myself)
> 
> Sleigh bells ring,  
> Are you listening?  
> Please Kudos,  
> I am begging.  
> A comment or two,  
> Especially from you,  
> Would turn my winter into Wonderland.
> 
>   
> Love you guys! Merry Christmas!
> 
> ~Angel


End file.
